Thursday, September 07, 2006

nice. that is what the mid-west is all about. warm, friendly, people living conservative lives, whom hang out with warm, friendly, people living conservative lives. hey there is nothing wrong with that. infact, i would consider myself a warm and friendly person, however, there is no denying that east coastness runs thru my blood. it will always be there and i like it. where am i going with this? well...here is the thing...i like niceness and all, really i do, just dont bring it over the top, its not necessary and do not take offense if i'm not in the mood to agree or respond or wish you a super-duper colorful day. its not that i do not wish you best, its just that um...i have other things on my mind..what can i say...i'm a little bit selfish and that is my right to be..and i should be...because that is how i grew up...on the east coast.

niceness in an over the top way was brought to my attention today when after work i stopped at best buy to pick up a new cell-phone charger. as i walked in the store i was greeted by a "greeter" (yes..that is someone's job!) "how can i help you?" he shouted with enthuasium. i thought you cant help me, you are responsible for greeting the entering costumers, gosh! i glanced at him and walked past him directly toward the cell phone area. when i step foot in the cell phone area my plan was to find a bored employee and ask him directly what cell phone charger matched my phone, however, all three cell phone area employees were assisting one other costumer in what seemed to be the entire store. ok....guess i'll figure it out myself. until all three employees stopped in the middle of what they were doing and huddled around me and asked me what i needed. it totally freaked me out, why would three best buy employees need to assist me picking out a cell phone charger...and what happened to the other costumer they were helping, that costumer insisted that they stop helping him and assist me. ahhhh...thanks for the niceness but i can read for myself. no biggie.

about two months ago, during one of my inline skate workouts, a women in inline skates stopped me in the middle of my workout and asked me a million questions. it went something like this, "i've seen you around, skating around the park and i asked the receptionist at the desk of my building if she knew anyone else that inline skated and she described you, so i'd thought i'd stop you (great... in the middle of my workout thanks!) if it was you and it was you. so what do you listen to on your ipod? do you inline skate all the way to the park from the condo building or do you drive? i drive. i ccant believe you inline skate all the way here (the park is only a mile away!) well...how far do you skate? how often? do you skate in the winter? (um...moron it snows here in the winter!) i skate in the winter i bought a light that attaches to my belt and it lights up the trail (good for u...my muscles are now getting cold..shtp up already!) umm, whats your name? i'm bonnie (great...the second bonnie i've met in my life) i have a daughter your age....(ok...it goes on and on..but re-living it is torturing myself all over again.)

so anyways you get my drift... super over the top nice (can we say a little nutty?!?) and like i said, i'm a nice person...so i've been pretty polite to her everytime i see her at the park, i say hello and add a little surface talk (remember the east coast thing..i really really really do not care all that much about a strangers life.) today was a day that i saw bonnie at the park. she said hi, i said hi back. then she went on a tangent about how during autumn the leaves and nuts fall from the trees and cause obstacles and hazards for our skates. (this is true but i am still more afraid of the squirrels than an acorn getting caught in my wheel). she encouraged me to speak to the park ranger (i couldnt find him and really..i didnt have time to look...the sun was getting closer to disappearing and i wanted to skate 4 more miles...remember i'm selfish) bonnie was now speaking about how she hurt her ankle and had to wrap it today for her workout. (i dont care..really) then she starts talking about the inline skate race on saturday...(ok lady ok)...now she is back on the acorns and finally i skate off telling her i'll look for park ranger dude.

next thing i know, bonnie, nice over the top sweet maybe a bit lonely inline skater. is skating around the park with a big red broom. yes a broom, she is brushiing all of the acorns and fallen little tree sticks and leaves on the one mile around trail by hand. (i guess the park ranger said he couldnt help) it is super nice of you bonnie, but seriously, trust that your helmet and knee pads will work if you accidently roll into a big fat acorn. gosh!

Friday, June 02, 2006

once, when i lived in a small town in central pa in order to attend a small liberal arts college, i saw a dead squirrel laying on the pathwalk on the morning stroll to class. it was laying stretched out on its back and its neck had been freshly sliced with a knife. yes, someone murdered a squirrel and then left it for the birds to kick it around.

ok so its not like squirrels are endangered, especially in central pa on the campus of SU, where it was once estimated that squirrels out-numbered students by 2to1. where we considered changing our mascot from a Crusader to a Squirrel, because SU Squirrels never hurt anyone. Some students had even named a Squirrel or two that they had recognized on a daily basis. Hence when I came across the Murdered squirrel I was appalled and well...disgusted.


whenever I would see a Squirrel post-graduation it would trigger some lovely memories of SU and I would always try to suppress the above situation. therefore, I have had only positive things to say about the creature. as far as i knew, they were innocent animals who kept there distance from humans, ran around open green spaces, up and down trees, ate acorns and basically made my campus look pretty, peaceful, and nature friendly.

however, within the past few days my view on Squirrels has changed, drastically. Now, I am scared of them and I definitely think that they are mean and dirty creatures. You see, the squirrels in Ohio are black and not very afraid of people. They squil at me and hop at a leisurely pase out in front of me on my rollerblades on the paved pathway at the local park. Several times this week I have had to slam on my break and stop short, only for the Squirrel to turn around and taunt me with its evil laugh and hop off the pathway. (I'm really afraid i'm going to run over one of them one of these days OR WORSE get bit by one.)

Yes, indeed, Squirrels are mean. And Unfortunately they are invading my park!! what am I suppose to do? how did Squirrels get so mean? why are they black and where did they all come from?

here is my theory.
I think that SU campus became so overpopulated with Squirrels and after the murder a posse of squirrels decided to form a gang to fight back. the gang was going to need money and quick. the best way to make money at SU is to sell drugs. so seeing how there is no drugs to be bought in central pa the gang decided they needed to travel to either baltimore or cleveland to buy in bulk. (now, I never said that Squirrels were smart) they headed to cleveland. on their way here they travelled through pennsyvania cool mine country and the pollution of the mining darkened their fur. Amish kids where so bored they threw rocks at the gang as they hopped thru their farms, making the Squirrels bitter toward humans. and once they finally arrived in cleveland, they did what they came to do... bought bulks of drugs. however, they quickly realized they had no way of transporting their purchase back to central pa. so the Squirrels settled in my local park and become users.

sad i know, but its my fault. i should have reported the murder.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

do u ever miss your old life. the life you had that gave you life. the life that made you say, “ i dont worry about that, i have a life.” i miss that life.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

I think my new dream is to move to coconut grove, live in that cute little yellow house with the magenta door and ivy going around the wooden panels. create children's books in my small studio about the garage. and take baby for walks in his bungaboo stroller to visit his dad at the office.

Friday, February 03, 2006

360
how 10 people i met on my recent trip to miami beach turned my reality into my fantasy and then back into my reality of living in cleveland.

40something, strawberryblonde, balding man sitting on the packed plane next to me flying from atlanta to miami. his name, Jon. Jon owns his own company, he sells picture frames to arts and crafts stores around ohio and kentucky. he resides in cinncanti with his wife,30, and newborn girl. Reason why he is on the plane, he is flying to miami to go on a cruise with his wife, his parents, her parents to celebrate his wife's birthday. Reason why he is sitting next to me, to convince me to go on a date with his youngest brother (he is one of 11 kids). his youngest brother is in med school in kentucky and school is his priority so it might not work out. but i should come to cinncanti and meet him anyway. he told me that i will find love and the correct way for my future man to propose to me. he told me not to worry because i have time. i have time. he told me that i wanted kids, kids are wonderful. i have time. you know when its the right one. i have time. i want kids. he kept telling me i had time and i wondered if i had PITY written across my forehead?

late 30something, blonde,tall, slim, southern girl, boarding the super-shuttle at the airport with me, headed to the beach, miami beach, the palms hotel. really nervous and excited. Reason why she was here, to meet a guy she met once while hanging out at a bar in new york city. Reason why she was sitting next to me, well, it was the only seat left on the shuttle, she told me about why she was here, to meet a guy she once met in nyc while visiting her sister. they have talked a few times but he is really busy because he works on wall-street, he is really busy and she is really busy teaching 3rd grade. she told me that she had to lie to her students and her mother about leaving school early that day to fly down to miami to meet a boy. i told her places to check out and places to make him take you to dinner, he does work on wall-street after-all. i hope they had fun.

early20's stalky, black, shaved hair boy, sitting next to his very round black friend who seemed to be his manager. They sat in front of me and southern girl on the super-shuttle. this boy was holding a gigantic gold wrestling medal belt. Reason why they were here, to attend a wrestling match at american airlines arena. they won tickets to some huge wrestling event. they are going to watch. this boy told us that he wrestles for fun, he is pretty good, the best in his class. but he is not big enough. you need to be like an actor and a stunt person to be a great and famous wrestler. but he enjoys winning in his class, he is the best in his class. he works for IBM when he isnt in the ring and lives in white plains, ny. some of my family is from white plains. he seemed excited about that. i never asked him why he needed to carry his medal down to miami to be a spectator at a wrestling match but i hope he and his manager had a good time.

2 older20somethings with overwieght butts,with really bad hair girls walking into a bar that me and my friends where just about to leave. i know these girls. blasts from the past, friendships that were not meant to last. they are fake. so fake you can see through them. but i say hi anyway. i dont know why, but i do say hi. and that is all i say.

30something nebraskan boy, with a shaved head and a cut body invites himself into the hot tub. we are sharing a hot tub. he seems nice, he works for coca-cola and his friend is down here on a business trip so he hopped along with him. he has a friend. they used to live in kansas city and knows people that work for hallmark. we chat, we talk, he invites me and my friends up to their room to pre-party with them. they seem nice. like nice guys. i dive into the pool, to cool off from the sitting in the hot tub. never to see him or meet his friend, probably never again.

19year old cocktail waitress, 5'1', beautiful dark skin, long braided hair, cute smile. reason why we bumped into her, or she bumped into us, the guys in the corner want to invite us over for a round. you can buy bottles at automatic slims? who knew. she had me at free drinks. she had my friends at they are nice guys from maryland. maryland? who else can be here from maryland? you can buy a bottle at automatic slims? who knew. and according to the one maryland nice guy it was a really good deal, $260 a bottle. nice guys from maryland, i'm just drinking your liquor. but we probably made cute, dark skinned, short cocktail waitresses night. who knew? bottles at automatic slims.

20 year old austrialian boy fresh off the boat. hot off the boat. kind of an asshole, man-whore, hot, adorable, lets get to the party, lets get you and together, alone. this place is crazy kind of waiter. hates south beach, well doesnt really get south beach. but that's ok he seems to be enjoying south beach and really what much else is there to get besides that.

20 maybe 30 something year old, completely lost. cute in that dorky, slouchy shoulders, i wear glasses kind of way. reason why he is in miami beach, he is visiting his grandparents, he flew down from toronto, he needed to get out of the cold. we can all understand that. but he seemed lost. confused. where exactly is the party, he asked. the party is here..it is only 9pm though so it wont get crazy until 12. people dont show up until 12 so just sit and chill with me and my friends. no, canadain must go. canadain must go and find the party. you go boy.

***********
enter, plane. second plane. almost back to reality. if i could just hide in my glamour magazine for one more plane ride i will be back and home safely, with all memories firmly intact. but no...

older 30something, really overweight, gelled, balding hair, sitting in the window seat next to my aisle seat. please do not talk to me. "so do you have any kids?" what did he just ask me? never got that question before, akward, very akward.NO..i have no freaking kids. and thank goodness for that. he went on to explain that he had 2, one 3 year old and one 3 week old. he has been moving down to jasksonville since october, he is moving his family down there just for the hell of it. i thought it was kind of inconsiderate of him. i mean his whole extended family lives in familyland, ohio why wouldnt he just stay here. he said he likes the suburbs in jasksonville. he is a suburb kind of guy.

and then reality hit me, the plane was landing, and i'd soon touch ground on a place in this country where, spontaneous southern girls, amtatuer wrestlers, mean girls, guys with cut bodies, $260 bottle free drinks, australian ass-holes,and out of place canadians do not exist as one united front.

Friday, January 20, 2006

am a suppose to have an urge to “save the world?”

because i never really have.

there was a point in my life when i considered becoming a teacher, attempting to make the world of learning a safe, fun and loving environment but after taking a few educational classes in college, talking with some teachers that loved the profession and others who were disgusted with the profession, and finally teaching art to 4 and 5 year olds for 8 months after college, i had decided that it was the wrong fit for me.

i’m not regreting the above decision.
i love my current profession and all of the decisions i have made regarding my career since my stint with education.
i’m asking: am i suppose to be “wanting” to do more to save this world?

i have no urge too.

a few times a year i volunteer at the ronald mcdonald house and occasionally i sit down at my grandmothers retirement community and eat lunch with the elderly. they love it and i love it(they are so funny!). i bought a toy for "toys-for-tots" this christmas and handed it in at starbucks where i recieved a free coffee in exchange. i’ve donated to causes like AIDS and cancer in support of friends running or biking marathons for the cause. sometimes if i see a pink breast cancer support the cause product, like a candle or a bagel (panera sold them in the shape of a ribbon) i’ll opt for it in support of the cause.

but that’s it.

i dont make it a habit to donate money at the grocery store to some random organization so that i can sign my name on a hot air-balloon. i dont give spare change to the homeless. while i could argue my job is important to society because i help people express the way they feel, its really not all that important. if all greeting cards became extinct human beings would survive just fine.

all of it was really just fine with me. and still is, really. however, ohioian’s seem to be very proactive in “saving the world.” one colleague says she wants to go to eastern europe to visit the orphanges. i asked her why? she said she just wants to go there to give them a hug. i’ve never had the urge to do that, it seems way to sad. another went to thailand to rescue 8 girls from the rape/trafickking world, they paid $300 per girl to get them out. another joined habit-for-humanity and another is some sort of guidance counsler for “at-risk” teenagers.

that’s is all wonderful. more power to you. i’m just a bit skeptical. it’s like setting yourself up for disappointment. i’d never be satified. it’d be way to depressing having to think that their are more and more humans that need my help. more and more and more and more. forever. what an exhausting thought.

but that is not why i do not want to attempt to save this world.

i just have never had the urge or the desire. and i ask is that wierd? am i cold? am i not being a good, well-educated, generous citzen of this world?

Thursday, January 05, 2006

who is that man? that watches E! hollywood as he walks?


who is that man whom i saw in the elevator of my building this evening? he was the same man i see every weekday at the gym. a stalky, muscle toned body gently pulses out of his black skin as he walks at a pace that seems to be a little faster than leisurely on the treadmill next to mine. he is always there before me, most times leaves after me and always is walking.

although we have seen each other every weekday since november, we had never spoken before this evening. he walked onto the elevator covered in a beautiful mink coat which flowed down to the floor and had a extra puffed up collar. covering his eyes were giant shades which sides were covered in sparkling diamonds. i looked at him and half smiled then i looked out the glass elevator onto the cityscape and wondered what this rock-star was up too.

"so, did you have a good work-out?" he said right after he unsurely looked at me.
"yeah. it was ok. so where you going? i asked.
"6th street, then maybe sushi rock." he said.
"cool. i've heard about 6th st. i just moved here, i dont really know about places yet."
"o yeah, 6th street has a lot of fun places. where'd you move from?"
"south beach,"i said.
i know he gave me a wierd look beneath his stylish sunglasses.
"um, you moved from south beach to here." he asked.
"um, yeah, not really sure why at the moment," and then the elevator door opened.
"well, 6th street is good," he said as we both exited.

this shades in the dark wearing rock-star makes me extremely happy. i've finally met someone in cleveland that doesnt seem boring this dude might actually blend into my past life of living with the exotics, sans mink coat of course!