Friday, February 03, 2006

360
how 10 people i met on my recent trip to miami beach turned my reality into my fantasy and then back into my reality of living in cleveland.

40something, strawberryblonde, balding man sitting on the packed plane next to me flying from atlanta to miami. his name, Jon. Jon owns his own company, he sells picture frames to arts and crafts stores around ohio and kentucky. he resides in cinncanti with his wife,30, and newborn girl. Reason why he is on the plane, he is flying to miami to go on a cruise with his wife, his parents, her parents to celebrate his wife's birthday. Reason why he is sitting next to me, to convince me to go on a date with his youngest brother (he is one of 11 kids). his youngest brother is in med school in kentucky and school is his priority so it might not work out. but i should come to cinncanti and meet him anyway. he told me that i will find love and the correct way for my future man to propose to me. he told me not to worry because i have time. i have time. he told me that i wanted kids, kids are wonderful. i have time. you know when its the right one. i have time. i want kids. he kept telling me i had time and i wondered if i had PITY written across my forehead?

late 30something, blonde,tall, slim, southern girl, boarding the super-shuttle at the airport with me, headed to the beach, miami beach, the palms hotel. really nervous and excited. Reason why she was here, to meet a guy she met once while hanging out at a bar in new york city. Reason why she was sitting next to me, well, it was the only seat left on the shuttle, she told me about why she was here, to meet a guy she once met in nyc while visiting her sister. they have talked a few times but he is really busy because he works on wall-street, he is really busy and she is really busy teaching 3rd grade. she told me that she had to lie to her students and her mother about leaving school early that day to fly down to miami to meet a boy. i told her places to check out and places to make him take you to dinner, he does work on wall-street after-all. i hope they had fun.

early20's stalky, black, shaved hair boy, sitting next to his very round black friend who seemed to be his manager. They sat in front of me and southern girl on the super-shuttle. this boy was holding a gigantic gold wrestling medal belt. Reason why they were here, to attend a wrestling match at american airlines arena. they won tickets to some huge wrestling event. they are going to watch. this boy told us that he wrestles for fun, he is pretty good, the best in his class. but he is not big enough. you need to be like an actor and a stunt person to be a great and famous wrestler. but he enjoys winning in his class, he is the best in his class. he works for IBM when he isnt in the ring and lives in white plains, ny. some of my family is from white plains. he seemed excited about that. i never asked him why he needed to carry his medal down to miami to be a spectator at a wrestling match but i hope he and his manager had a good time.

2 older20somethings with overwieght butts,with really bad hair girls walking into a bar that me and my friends where just about to leave. i know these girls. blasts from the past, friendships that were not meant to last. they are fake. so fake you can see through them. but i say hi anyway. i dont know why, but i do say hi. and that is all i say.

30something nebraskan boy, with a shaved head and a cut body invites himself into the hot tub. we are sharing a hot tub. he seems nice, he works for coca-cola and his friend is down here on a business trip so he hopped along with him. he has a friend. they used to live in kansas city and knows people that work for hallmark. we chat, we talk, he invites me and my friends up to their room to pre-party with them. they seem nice. like nice guys. i dive into the pool, to cool off from the sitting in the hot tub. never to see him or meet his friend, probably never again.

19year old cocktail waitress, 5'1', beautiful dark skin, long braided hair, cute smile. reason why we bumped into her, or she bumped into us, the guys in the corner want to invite us over for a round. you can buy bottles at automatic slims? who knew. she had me at free drinks. she had my friends at they are nice guys from maryland. maryland? who else can be here from maryland? you can buy a bottle at automatic slims? who knew. and according to the one maryland nice guy it was a really good deal, $260 a bottle. nice guys from maryland, i'm just drinking your liquor. but we probably made cute, dark skinned, short cocktail waitresses night. who knew? bottles at automatic slims.

20 year old austrialian boy fresh off the boat. hot off the boat. kind of an asshole, man-whore, hot, adorable, lets get to the party, lets get you and together, alone. this place is crazy kind of waiter. hates south beach, well doesnt really get south beach. but that's ok he seems to be enjoying south beach and really what much else is there to get besides that.

20 maybe 30 something year old, completely lost. cute in that dorky, slouchy shoulders, i wear glasses kind of way. reason why he is in miami beach, he is visiting his grandparents, he flew down from toronto, he needed to get out of the cold. we can all understand that. but he seemed lost. confused. where exactly is the party, he asked. the party is here..it is only 9pm though so it wont get crazy until 12. people dont show up until 12 so just sit and chill with me and my friends. no, canadain must go. canadain must go and find the party. you go boy.

***********
enter, plane. second plane. almost back to reality. if i could just hide in my glamour magazine for one more plane ride i will be back and home safely, with all memories firmly intact. but no...

older 30something, really overweight, gelled, balding hair, sitting in the window seat next to my aisle seat. please do not talk to me. "so do you have any kids?" what did he just ask me? never got that question before, akward, very akward.NO..i have no freaking kids. and thank goodness for that. he went on to explain that he had 2, one 3 year old and one 3 week old. he has been moving down to jasksonville since october, he is moving his family down there just for the hell of it. i thought it was kind of inconsiderate of him. i mean his whole extended family lives in familyland, ohio why wouldnt he just stay here. he said he likes the suburbs in jasksonville. he is a suburb kind of guy.

and then reality hit me, the plane was landing, and i'd soon touch ground on a place in this country where, spontaneous southern girls, amtatuer wrestlers, mean girls, guys with cut bodies, $260 bottle free drinks, australian ass-holes,and out of place canadians do not exist as one united front.